The Hamlet

I cannot accept this fact. I have just lost a friend about two hours that I thought that it would last. It is nobody’s mistake that lead to the tragedy that the impact is so hard for me to continue standing on. In fact, the whole friendship thing was shaky along the way to its end.

I got to know her through the Internet, friendster to be more accurate. We chatted sometimes and the first obstacle came. I said a word “cheap” continuously to indicate her action was childish and she interpreted it as I was saying her cheap instead. She hated me for some time but in the end, the friendship could be saved. Yet shockingly, when I thought it was all over, she mentioned it again just now.

The mistake made me even more treasuring the 17-year-old gel. I talked to her a lot. I cared her as my own sister. I encouraged her to be stronger in her studies, especially in the times of SPM period.

She said I was mean. My words were poison. She said I never cared her feelings. I admit I never made it all right because I am just an ordinary person who makes mistakes just as you. Perhaps she never really knew me, the real Kang Yi himself. He craps and teases his close friends (including her that I thought she was). But never exceed the limit.

I was tired saying sorry and calling her for countless times. I still do not understand why she just cannot accept my apologies. Is it a hurt too deep? I only said to she that she would come to me only when she was bored.

And maybe it was the different world that we lived in. We were so much different in views. For example, I found Death Note was horrible, everything of TV series Smiley Pasta were terrible; she said she did not care the content, just wanted to see hunks, Smiley Pasta was so touching. And uhm, her weaker English compared to mine.

In her message, she said it was wrong to treat me as a true friend and it was like a knife stabbing into my heart. Nonetheless, she said something about her status already having a boyfriend and he was far away and she could not talk to other guys. (Talk to other guys means betrayal?) How nonsense! The philosophy of hers was absolutely against mine.

She made me angry to a point that I lost my cool. I said all the bad things such as her princess-like attitude that she must stop and so on. The war or words started then. But in the end, I advised her nicely. It was something that I should take as the first step.

However, nothing can be done to save the friendship. Much like the Hamlet of Shakespeare. Everyone suffered.

From my point of view, she is conservative and I am open-minded. That might be why she never closes to other males. It is only my thought though.

November 23rd 2006, the day Kang Yi lost his treasured friend.

Just a few days ago, I voluntarily offer my hand to shake a new hand in the college bus and I did it thrice already. More will come. Can she ever do it? I do not know, nor I care much now as she to me.