Without You: Day 2

I am glad that I talked with you on msn yesterday. I could not helped myself anymore so I talked to you. The conversation cleared some misunderstanding. I thought you hated me and the relationship so you chose to end it but it was not after all.

However I still find it difficult to accept you as a friend. I would have suffered greatly if you tell me you've just went for a hot date or how sweet between you and your new boyfriend one day. Hope you understand.

But suddenly you gave me a glimmer of hope. We might still stand a chance after 3 years. At this moment I knew it was a chance so I wanted to be your friend. We will still be in contact and at least I am still in the race. If I had chosen the other path, everything would be over.

Then you took the hope away when we talked on the phone at night. I was hurted and acted like a crazy man. I hate myself when I am in rage. I do things without thinking. Sorry for that. I was truly hurted and spent my night talking to a friend until the wee hours.

I believe you do not know what you want or you cannot think clearly anymore or other reasons. I am confused because what you said and your action were contradicted. I thought we only choose to end a relationship (such as love is dead or it is useless to move on, probably he/she is not the one and won't be happily ever after) and no hope is given anymore. I do not know what you want and you put me under duress. But I still love you nonetheless.